Helpful Hints- Postponing Your Wedding
When considering postponing your wedding, you’re guaranteed to experience a lot of thoughts and feelings- panic, sorrow, anger, stubbornness, etc. Deliberating to postpone one of the greatest days of your life, an experience you’ve been working so hard on and looking forward to, isn’t unlike navigating the five stages of grief.
Unsure of how to make the decision? Or have you elected to pump the breaks but don’t know what to do next? Here are some steps to guide you through this exasperating process and hopefully help you find some relief along the way.
Take a Breath
Once the possibility of being forced to postpone your wedding popped up, it may have brought forth dread, anxiety, and sadness. Live in those emotions for a moment. It’s okay to be sad. This is a big deal and you can’t be expected to sweep those feelings under the rug, make a decision, and keep on truckin’. After you take a beat to acknowledge those emotions, take a deep breath and know that everything will be okay. You’ve found the love of your life and this is just another opportunity to support each other.
Don’t Go It Alone
You and your fiancé have got each others’ backs no matter what. But that doesn’t mean that you should feel like the weight of this decision is falling only on the two of you. Take note of all the allies in your life and share your struggle with a trusted few. Speaking with loved ones will allow you some perspective as well as some relief from just being able to talk about how much this is affecting you. Perhaps you’ve got friends who were recently married and can share some insight on the planning process and how they would have handled such a situation.
If you have a wedding planner, lean on them! Being in the industry, we’ve seen it all and can help guide you to make the decision that’s right for you. We have so much empathy for what our current couples are going through and making the decision to postpone is best evaluated on a case-by-case basis. Talk to a planner to get their insights on the benefits of postponing versus holding fast.
Consider the Pros and Cons of Postponing
If you push forward with your original date, are you okay if it is more intimate in size? If you change the date, will it alter the cost of your wedding? List out the possible outcomes of each decision and then weigh the importance of each point to you as a couple. Yes, you should consider everyone that your decision could affect from your family to your vendors… But what’s most important is how the two of you feel about the options in front of you.
Make a Choice or Have a Plan B
It is okay to delay making a decision. We’re currently experiencing an unprecedented situation, no one knows yet what social distancing factors will impact your Fall 2020 wedding. Take the time you need to make the choice that’s right for you, but have a Plan B in place. Many venues and vendors will allow you to hold a new date for a period of time without dropping your current one. This option offers a safety net while still hoping for the best of maintaining your original date. Coming up with a backup strategy will ensure that you and your vendors won’t feel as rushed coming up with next steps or ways to adhere to safety guidelines, which will alleviate unneeded stress.
At some point, you have to pick a direction to go in. Once you decide, be confident in that decision and maintain enthusiasm about it. You’ve made your choice for a reason, continue to reaffirm that choice and soldier on. Your 200 person wedding has turned into a micro-wedding? Cool, how can we make your guests’ experience that much more personable and memorable? You were one month out and now you have to wait ten more months before you say “I do”? What last-minute to-do items were causing you stress? Now you’ve got plenty of time to tackle them.
The biggest plus of making a choice? You can stop feeling overwhelmed and gain a sense of peace.
If You Have No Choice, Focus on the Positives
If your wedding is months away and in postponement limbo, at least the decision is still up to you. If your wedding is a month away with no hope of unfolding as planned, it’s time to dig deep for some optimism.
Perhaps you’re having to push your wedding to next year. You’re being responsible for the health and safety of your guests. And think of all the times you can rehearse your choreographed first dance now! There may be a million disheartening things to focus on, but try to remind yourselves of the positives unfolding before you.
Get Confirmation From Vendors
Most vendors are flexible and understanding when you have a big life shift that effects your wedding. During a pandemic that’s put a damper on most weddings, the majority of vendors are happy to help how they can. However, it’s still important to check on their current policies and their availability if you do choose to reschedule. Be sure to ask for a new contract for your new date so there’s no confusion down the line. Verifying that all your vendors are on the same page as you and with each other is vital. Doing so before making any public announcements is also crucial, don’t make any assumptions in case a new date or venue is unavailable.
Notify Your Guests ASAP
As mentioned previously, be courteous of your guests by giving them as much forward notice as possible. You can do this in a couple of different ways: mailing out a postponement announcement or sending an announcement electronically. Whichever you choose, you will also want to update your wedding website for cohesiveness.
Continue Planning in Smaller Chunks
Just because your special day is a little further away, it doesn’t have to hamper your dreams of how fabulous it will be! Let yourself get lost in a sea of wedding inspiration. Our Instagram page has loads of feel-good pics waiting just for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a hidden gem and now you have time to incorporate it.
Stay in contact with your vendors to keep abreast of any policy changes and take note of the advice they give. These folks are professionals, not only can their ample knowledge make planning easier, they can be your biggest cheerleaders in the face of adversity.
Reward Yourselves
Overall this decision may be a sad one, but be sure to let any and all light shine through. Once you send out those new Save the Dates, perhaps celebrate with a glass of champagne or order take-out from a ritzy restaurant. When your intended date rolls around, rather than a melancholy moment, make it a mini-celebration! Ask your baker to bake a mini version of your cake. Hire a photographer and do a social distance photo shoot with your love and your fur babies. Hike to a beautiful spot and share your vows. Just do something that brings the two of you joy.
Hopefully these tips have contributed some calm in an otherwise tumultuous time. Remember, the important part here is that you and your fiancé are in this together. You’ve got a support system and you’ll make it to that special day.
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Need advice in other areas? We’ve got you covered. Check out these articles about Groomsmen’s Gifts and Weddings at Elevation.
